Life with Depression #27 - Sandy Ashley


10-4-2019: This week started out well. Went to work Monday night cause I was off Sunday night. I mean yeah I didn't want to after having 6 days off. Lol who does? Either way it was good. The next night was ok until my boss came over and said not to be throwing things. We have thdlese packet things (like beef jerky packets but bigger) anyone one of my co workers always throws them at me. No big deal. He does it because it's fun. I don't mind at all. Well this night I got one and out it in the box of wires he was working on. I happen to turn towards him and was able to Dodge it when he threw it. Well my other co-worker tried to get him back by tossing it in hopes it would land on his head or something. Anyway, I never threw the damn thing. Later my boss had received a note from someone (they didn't leave a name). He came and talked to us and all and I told him the story. Well turns out in this note, it was me and only one of the co workers. The one that someone at work threatened to tell my boyfriend I was sleeping with if I didn't stop ratting him out. Needless to say I was pissed because I didn't do shit and we're being targeted. Next night was ok I guess. Was also told to not mention this guy's name cause he told my boss he heard from 3 people something that was said (which not sure how cause I didn't say his name). So that pissed me off. I spend my day depressed as fuck not wanting to go to work last night. I just kept thinking what going to happen now. What's next on the list of try to get us fired or at least me :/ well during the day I made an angry/positive playlist. With that and having the people around me I did, the night was really good. I was laughing and having a great time. However, I still feel like shit. it's like I can't do anything or if something happens I can't tell my boss cause I fear that it will come back and he will just keep going with his fucking shit. Worst part is it's been almost a year since he made the threat about telling my boyfriend I was sleeping with my co worker and shit is still going on. It's different before cause he realized my boyfriend and I are together and his shitty ass stories weren't enough to break us up. Just get over shit and move the fuck on with other things. Fucking hell. I just feel trapped. I wish I could just ignore it but I can't because of who I am.

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