The Sounds of Advice #54: Dealing With Grief
Dealing with grief:
Aisling: Dealing with grief is different for everyone. Some people cry, some people try to bottle up their feelings to later on deal with them.
Some people have hobbies that are therapeutic for them that help, such as painting, writing, hiking.
Try to confide in someone you trust. Talking things out about your feelings can be therapeutic as well.
Sandy: Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Some people get angry, some people hide how they are feeling, some fall into a depression. No matter how you handle it, you do need to remember that things will get better. The pain will never go away as much as would all like it too. However, it does get easier to deal with.
I lost my dad when I was 8 or 9. It is hard to grow up without him, but at the same time I wouldn't be who or where I am without that happening. It does suck I have to live without him and have to raise my kids without them knowing him. However, at the same time I know he is watching over us as well and that seems to help. He may not be able to meet them yet, but I know that he knows who they are.
I know this goes towards a subject we talked about before, but you if feel like hurting yourself because dealing with the grief is too hard. Just reach out to someone. Someone will always be wiling to help you through this! You can do it and you can deal with it, you just have to know yourself and know when too much is going on and when to reach out. Don't be afraid to, everyone has dealt with grief in some form or another.
Michaelle: Loss is commonplace in my life. I am an only child with deceased parents and grandparents. The last loss was my father. He passed one week before I found out that I was pregnant with my second son (talk about "the circle of life.") Anyway, I thought I could handle it, that I was prepared. Everything seemed normal for the most part or so I thought. I began to get very tired, but put that all on the pregnancy and my first son's go-go-go personality. All seemed fine until about five to six weeks after my second son was born. I wasn't eating enough to keep breastfeeding him; I had run out of milk. I felt like I had tried everything to get my newborn son to take formula, but he wasn't taking it and then finally my husband got him to take bottle. At this point, I reached out for help. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for many years, so why didn't I think of post partum depression being highly likely? Distraction! Don't let all you have going on in your life distract you from grieving the loss of a loved one. Consider these options:
"Give yourself time. Accept your feelings and know that grieving is a process.
Talk to others. Spend time with friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself.
Take care of yourself. Exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep to stay healthy and energized.
Return to your hobbies. Get back to the activities that bring you joy.
Join a support group. Speak with others who are also grieving. It can help you feel more connected."
Kate: There's no instant fix. You might feel affected every day for about a year to 18 months after a major loss. But after this time the grief is less likely to be at the forefront of your mind.
There are practical things you can do to get through a time of bereavement or loss:
Express yourself. Talking is often a good way to soothe painful emotions. Talking to a friend, family member, health professional or counselor can begin the healing process.
Allow yourself to feel sad. It's a healthy part of the grieving process.
Keep your routine up. Keeping up simple things like walking the dog can help.
Sleep. Emotional strain can make you very tired. If you're having trouble sleeping, see your GP.
Eat healthily. A healthy, well-balanced diet will help you cope.
Avoid things that "numb" the pain, such as alcohol. It will make you feel worse once the numbness wears off.
Go to counselling if it feels right for you – but perhaps not straight away. Counselling may be more useful after a couple of weeks or months. Only you will know when you're ready.