Invisible Illness Diary #30 - Stress and Panic - Kate Marie Robbins


3-17-2020: My anxiety has been through the roof these past days, since everything in the world has gone crazy.  I am thankful that I work in healthcare, so my job and source of income will not change, but everything else is so uncertain. I went grocery shopping on Saturday, which filled me with a lot of anxiety because of my food restrictions. What would I do if I couldn't find things that won't make me ill? I was lucky and found everything I needed, at least this time. I'm not sure if I'll be so lucky when I need to buy things again. 

I do worry about catching the virus. Of course, for myself, because my health is shit. But also for those around me at work. I work at a nursing home/assisted living facility. I wouldn't want to pass it on to any of them. But not working isn't an option. I have to be there to make sure that everything is clean and disinfected. 

Not being able to go out and do things is also taking a toll on my mental health. I don't go out much, but every once in a while I like to go out and enjoy life and try not to worry about things. Now that isn't an option. Even my grocery shopping trips that used to be fun are now a source of dread. I don't know how long things can go on like this without me completely losing my shit. 

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