Life With Depression - Week Six - Sandy Ashley



4-15-19 - I was just cleaning up my line at work this morning and my boss and his boss came over. He wanted me to look over a paper. Which basically said that I will be a trainer and I'll be making x amount of money now. Which I'm thrilled about because first off no interviews happened, second then one girl just got put over there and so in turn was like well now she will get it. Not to mention she has been with the company longer. Needless to say I left work like I just hit the jackpot or something. I feel like things will be ok. :) Plus this week is only a 4 day week with us because we get Thursday/friday night off (I work graves). Days and swings get Friday off for good friday.

4-18-19 - Last night at work through this morning was pretty shitty. One of the people who also wanted the trainer spot I got is all kinds of pissed off. Like I already feel bad because I honestly don't even know how I got it. There weren't any interviews for it. I just got approached by my boss' boss and that was that. I mean I'm also super excited I got it, but it's not like I did anything special to get the spot either. Just some how I feel like the shitty person because of it. :( Almost makes me not want it anymore. I'm one of those people that just wants to get along with everyone and I keep finding myself in spots where someone is upset with me. :/ Just hope things get better with time and it doesn't take to long to pass. I'm also worried because this same person invited me and a bunch of people from work to the movies tonight. So I feel that will be super awkward too. Sighs

Part 2: I about cancelled going to movies. Was having a really rough day and then found out as well my grandma was in hospital. I about lost everything. I started crying. I knew the one girl didn't want me there. In fact she doesn't say one word to me before or after movie. I ended up having a good time. Just long stressful day. Kids never napped, head still hurt (all week so far). Makes for a start to a long weekend. Hopefully weekend is better, but we shall see cause my oldest (14) wants to drop our of school when he can. So have that to deal with too. Life is such a bitch sometimes.

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